And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
