I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
