I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize