it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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