you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
