I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
