What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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