You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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