Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
