just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize