kristin has been a bad kristin
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
