party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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