Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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