I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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