I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
