It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
3pm strippers are depressing
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I am naked and annoyed.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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