can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
