Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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