I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
