Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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