I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
