how can u be prego again
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
