now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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