Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
