Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
thus making me awesome and them whores
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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