You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
