legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
