Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
