i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just want to make out with him forever
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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