I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
