Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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