you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
please don't ironically join a cult
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