i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize