i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
