Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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