So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
