Are we in a gay sports bar?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
