btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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