Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
