His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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