I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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