This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
