Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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