so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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