so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
