i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
