omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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