We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
