Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
