It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
