You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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