Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
