I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
