Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
