Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I look better un-naked...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
