I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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