I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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