Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Green mimosas i think yes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
