so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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