My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
