You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
