The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
