Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
