So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
should my penis look like a turkey
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
