Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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