I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize