FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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