He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
two words...techno handjob
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
