loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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