honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
