Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
