Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
