Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
