is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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