I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
