Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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