She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
